Janet looked at the pills that were spilled across the table. It wasn’t really giving up, was it? She stood from the table and went into the bathroom, there she dipped her hand into the bath, it was just the perfect temperature. She turned off the faucet and went back into the sitting room. She looked at the TV, the station had gone out about two hours before, replaced instead with a sign claiming technical difficulties, most of the stations were like that, though one or two were showing repeats of some stupid comedy show. She could still hear screaming outside. They were already in the building somewhere but she was safe for now. She went to the window and pulled back the curtain a little, peeking out. A glance was all she needed. She could see people fighting in the building across from hers, down on the streets. It was everywhere.
She had tried to ring her parents shortly after it started, there was no answer, she had managed to get through to her sister Grace. That had been a tough call. Grace was locked in her basement with her two kids, someone was trying to break in, it was hard to hear her over the banging on the basement door. Her children had been crying, Grace was crying too, kept asking for help. Grace had managed to get through to their parents, but they were only on the phone for a few minutes before there was shouting and they were cut off. Janet heard the door burst open, the screams of her sister, of her niece and nephew. She didn’t listen much longer. Johnny had told her to stay where she was, that he was coming to her and together they’d escape, but that was two hours ago now and he wasn’t answering his phone. She knew they were all gone, she was the only one left. There was no one coming to save her, no way out of the building. She had expected to feel horror, grief, but instead there was a numbness, it all didn’t feel real, it was like she was stuck in a dream or some awful movie.
Janet gathered the pills and brought them to the kitchen, there she ground them up with the back of a spoon, once she had crushed enough she scooped the powder into a glass. She topped off the glass with some vodka, then a dash of Coke, she stirred the drink and then she went into the bathroom.
In the bathroom she stripped out of her clothes, she started to tie her hair up then stopped, it wasn’t like it really mattered now anyway. She slid into the bath, but it wasn’t as comforting as she had hoped. Before she could reconsider she downed her drink in four large gulps, the alcohol burned its way down to her stomach and the powder left a bitter residue on her tongue. Someone banged against her apartment door, there were screams coming from the hallway. Her body felt heavy now, she was feeling tired too, too tired to move, to try and barricade herself in. The banging on her door stopped, she felt the warmth of the water rising and realised she was sliding further into the water, she didn’t bother trying to push herself back up. That was too much effort. Her eyelids were heavy now, too heavy to keep open, Janet closed her eyes and her breathing started to slow and a moment later she slipped beneath the water.